Pete had bought an old BMW for £600 sometime in the early 00s: it needed a lot of welding but was the beautiful old boxy shape. Zoe and I were both friends of Pete and living on parallel streets.We decided Pete needed hos for the car to pimp it up. We collected a selection of the garden variety not the sex worker ones and arranged them on a fence in Zoe’s garden. When Pete arrived we told him we had a present for his new black BMW. He stared blankly at the selection of garden hoes. ‘That’s nice,’ he said, ‘you’ve got me some garden tools, why?’ He lived in a flat so they were completely pointless. ‘But what are they?’ Zoe nudged him, ‘Garden implements,’ said Pete. ‘But what are they called?’ I said, he shrugged. By the time we’d told him they were called hoes and what the joke was meant to be, Pete was polite enough to be mildly  amused. Needless to say we never made it in comedy. Lots of good times driving round with him listening to what he called ‘Bowie FM.’ I think it was a tape given the age iof the car.